Original release date: August 22, 1936

Rating: TV-Y7 due to comical violence and “It may contain outdated cultural depictions.”

Length: seven fightin’ minutes

Background: “Toby Tortoise Returns,” as the name suggests, is a sequel to an early short starring Toby. In this case, it is the Silly Symphony “The Tortoise and the Hare.”

In addition to Toby and his hare nemesis Max Hare, other Silly Symphony stars such as the three little pigs and Big Bad Wolf appear.

Review:

We start immediately with the beginning of a boxing match between Toby and Max, the crowd cheering Max and laughing at Toby despite their history. They have drawn quite the crowd, so I hope they both pocketed some money from the promoter.

Max takes some early shots at the back of Toby’s head, followed by more to the front as the rabbits running the ambulance wonder if they need to offer help. Max takes a break to flirt with the same trio of bunnies from the first short before continuing to pound poor Toby.

Toby gets thrown out of the ring into the lap of Jenny Wren, a vixen of a sparrow from a Silly Symphony not yet on Disney+.

We take a break in between rounds as Max smokes a cigar and Toby aches. The bell rings and round two begins, Toby retreating inside his shell as Max does some Taz-level spinning. Toby decides to start taunting Max, saying “you’ll never catch me.”

This riles up Max, who reaches in to catch his hand on a mousetrap. He tries pouring water into the shell which, you know, isn’t going to bother a turtle. A bystander gives Max a box of fireworks, which doesn’t seem easy to bring into a sporting event. Max lights one up and throws it in the shell, which blows Toby to the sky and then back down to land some surprise assisted blows on Max. As you’d probably think, the fireworks continue to work for Toby, helping him land a win over Max.

I didn’t see anything culturally crazy. There are several instances of cigar smoking which probably wouldn’t make the cut in 2019.

Extras:

Nothing.

Should you watch it?

Meh. It’s okay but nothing worth really watching. Let’s say skip it.

Original release date: January 5, 1935

Rating: TV-G and “It may contain outdated cultural depictions.”

Length: eight speedy minutes

Background: “The Tortoise and the Hare” is another Disney Silly Symphony inspired by one of Aesop’s many fables, this one having the same name as the short.

“Tortoise and the Hare” won an Academy Award for Best Short Subject (Cartoons) and many think the hare is an early inspiration for Bugs Bunny.

Review:

Unlike many of the earlier Silly Symphony shorts listed as “Mickey Mouse Presents,” this one actually features a headshot of Mickey at the beginning.

We start off with a large crowd and an annoying police dog gathered for a big race: the tortoise vs. the hare. Max Hare enters to thunderous applause and grandstanding while Toby Tortoise gets laughs. Tortoise offers best wishes while Hare acts a fool. There is definitely a Bugs Bunny-style to Hare.

We get the starting whistle and the two take off, one at a much faster speed than the other. Tortoise gets stuck in his shell and laughed off the starting line while Hare races around and blows feathers off animals and leaves off trees. Noticing his lead, he starts to slow down while Tortoise does all he can to keep pace with snails.

Hare takes himself a nap and Tortoise tiptoes by, though Hare catches up and, again, acts a fool. We all know where this story is going, right?

Hare passes a girls’ school full of cute bunnies, which gives him a chance to flirt. The invite both racers in, which I guess means old lookin’ Tortoise appeals to younger women as well. Hare stops to show off, shooting an apple off of his own head via speed and several other tricks. Hare shows off for too long, even too long for me as viewer as I wanted the short to get moving already.

Tortoise hits the finish line first, shocking Hare and delighting the fickle crowd.

I noticed no cultural depictions.

Extras:

None.

Should you watch it?

Eh, I guess I’ll say watch it. It drags on a bit but it is a good story and Toby reappears in a future short.